Living like no one else

I just got a less-than-nice comment from someone about our van situation. The basic gist of the comment was (I'll edit the part out calling me a liar, etc.): "Why on earth if your husband is an attorney and you make money from home can you not just go out and get a new vehicle??"

Since there are quite a number of people who read this blog, rude comments are pretty normal and I'm pretty used to it--it's part of blogging in a public forum. However, after I deleted the comment, I got to thinking...

You know, we could go buy a vehicle. We could take our emergency fund money and go buy another used vehicle or even a new vehicle. We could take our house savings and go buy another vehicle. We could even do what most normal Americans do and just go take out a loan for a new car.

But here's the deal: while we have money in our bank account, we don't have money saved or allotted for a new vehicle or even a used vehicle. And guess what that means? We aren't buying a new vehicle or even a new-to-us vehicle. Not right now at least.

We had money to pay for the car repairs, we don't have money to pay for a new vehicle right now. We're very hopeful that the mechanic will have our van in good working order by tonight and we're very hopeful that after replacing just about everything there is to replace on it, the van should run beautifully like it used to.

What we thought was a small problem with the van has mushroomed into weeks of work. Just when we thought it was fixed, something else would go wrong with it and we'd have to take it back to the mechanic again. It has been a much longer and costlier process than we were ever expecting and yes, it's been frustrating, but that doesn't mean we just throw in the towel and go buy another vehicle.

Have we considered buying a new vehicle? Absolutely! Do we wish we had piles of cash sitting around without a name on them so we could just go buy a new vehicle and forget all the hassle of trying to get our much-used van fixed? You better believe it!

But you know what? Waiting until we can afford to buy something and trying to make do with what we currently have is how most people used to live. We're learning patience, we're learning flexibility, and we're learning to be content with what we have.

We still have one running vehicle and if need be, we can go back to being a one-car family again. It's not my first choice, but we did it for a few years and I'm willing to do it again.

Yes, we're "living like no one else". Yes, a lot of people think we're really crazy. Yes, sharing what I share on my blog means that some people aren't going to understand, are going to question why we're doing what we're doing, and some people will say rude comments about our life choices.

You know what, though? While I don't like car problems and I'd not have chosen the kinks in our plans they've resulted in the last few weeks, I'd much prefer to wait until I can afford something before I buy it. I much prefer not having to live paycheck-to-paycheck. And I much prefer not being slave to the bondage of debt.

We're living like no one else so that someday we can live and give like no one else!

Comments

[Promises]

I understand what you mean - a lot of people are so used to debt and/or spending every cent that they make that they really do not understand how you live. I do understand - we are also very frugal.

I am very careful about who I tell that we have an emergency fund to, b/c I feel that most people would respond that we should use that to buy a second car (we are down to one and saving to buy a "new to us" car.). It would be nice to have a second car, but we are refusing to go into debt again.

Debt free is definitely a more peaceful way to live!

[Jennifer]

As Dave says.... "Deb is NORMAL. Be WEIRD." I was thrilled to see you were a Dave Ramsey fan and that you were truly living out the baby steps. We're only on step 2, but your shopping tips are going to help us arrive at step 3 even sooner. We're currently saving enough cash to upgrade one of our "beater" cars (a.k.a. our hooptie card). We don't want to spend the cash we have saved toward our very-used replacement on other things either. Keep saving toward your dream! And you'll be able to live like no one else.

[Jennifer]

As Dave says.... "Deb is NORMAL. Be WEIRD." I was thrilled to see you were a Dave Ramsey fan and that you were truly living out the baby steps. We're only on step 2, but your shopping tips are going to help us arrive at step 3 even sooner. We're currently saving enough cash to upgrade one of our "beater" cars (a.k.a. our hooptie card). We don't want to spend the cash we have saved toward our very-used replacement on other things either. Keep saving toward your dream! And you'll be able to live like no one else.

[Melissa]

I'm so sorry that you received such a rude comments. I'm constantly amazed by the number of people that think that debt can't be avoided and that we should all spend every penny we have. Thank you for being such a level-headed and inspirational woman.

[cheapsk8mom]

while i don't share your lifestyle, as far as saving money goes, i certainly don't think badly of you for it. i'm married w/four kids to a man in the army, so you know we're poor! and if we didn't have rude jerks in our lives, the people who matter the most wouldn't seem as perfect! :)

[LisaMarie]

Good for you! I'm proud to include myself in the category of "weird" along with you. The only regret that I have is that we didn't save up for our house and pay cash. But we are doing just fine with our only debt being our 15 year mortgage.

[Katie]

I am relatively new to the whole no debt thing... own my house and my cars outright- it feels nice.... most people would be trading my 2004 minivan in right about now- but I am just gonna get it detailed.... it will at least be as clean as new- gotta love the little things.....
Somedays I envy what my friends are able to do but than I think to myself- don't want their bills every month :) I would rather mine.....

[Hillery]

Good for you! We recently experienced some similar problems with our car. Unfortunately it got to the point where it was going to need so much work, we couldn't afford it and my dad didn't want to fix it either. We were blessed that a family member stepped in and helped us buy a new car. Once my husband is out of school and has a great new job we will pay them back for it. I wish we could have fixed the old one and that we do as well as you do with money, but we are learning, and we will get there!

Thank you for your "not like everyone else" blog that helps so many people. I used $30 of coupons today at the store, thanks to you!

[Club Amaro]

you rock.

[Michelle]

I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate all of your hard work - this week I scored diapers and wipes for just $.35 out of pocket thanks to your blog.

If you think like everyone else, then you will be up to your eyeballs in debt like everyone else... you have to do different to get different results.

[Rachel]

Well said, Crystal! That is the problem with most of America concerning money today - they don't understand savings.

Also, you have mentioned that your "attorney" husband has chosen a less stressful position (translate: less money) rather than make "big bucks." I totally respect that. My husband has chosen the same thing right now, and I need to help him by working hard to stretch our money. Thank you, Crystal, for helping me do that!!

:o) Rachel

[Roxanne]

How rude! Why on earth would someone else make rude comments about how you and your family live your life and budget!??!! My gosh! Just keep up the good work! My family and I really appreciate your blog and the work you put into it. :)

[Suzy]

Maybe when that rude comment-maker is destitute and living on the street because of a lifetime of poor financial decisions, you can drive by them in your brand new fully-paid-in-cash sportscar and toss them a $50 out the window.

[Jenny]

"We're living like no one else so that someday we can live and give like no one else!"

Guess what - you already are giving like no one else! You are giving thousands of people a fresh, different perspective than what they're seeing advertised on TV or what they're hearing that their friends are doing.

So I say, kudos to you! Preach on, sister!

[Stacee]

What commitment ya'll have! We are still not there yet, don't even have our baby emergency fund yet since we're currently getting caught up from being behind (closing our Home Remodeling Business) - but we're getting there! I commend you for making the "right for you" choice!! Dave rocks doesn't he, lol!

[Michelle]

I was shocked to read that you receive negative comments. It is hard to imagine someone taking time to write those things...

Anyway, I love hearing that you continue to use your cars as long as you possibly can. In my opinion, it is not only a financially sound decision, but an eco friendly decision as well!!

Thank you for sharing your life with all of us! Your wise and frugal financial decisions opened my eyes to a new way of living.

THANKS!!
Michelle

[Nancy]

I think it's great that you don't buy a new van with the money you have labeled for something! I am trying to learn to be stronger, like you. Right now, I am pretty much paycheck to paycheck. But I am trying to learn to do better. You are helping me do that! Thanks so much!

[Sarah in Indiana]

I am so sorry someone was rude to you.
My husband and I make well over six figures, but we too live below our means. My friends are surrounded by new things.. and mounds of credit card bills.

[Sarah]

I truely admire what you are doing. I am a mother of 4 precious boys and we have been trying to make changes recently to become debt free. My husband has always been very smart with his $$$, but recently we tried to start a business, and we got in over our heads!!! Now we need a plan and fast!!!! So we are working toward the goal of being debt free. I commend your efforts and everyone out there for also trying to achieve the same thing! It's not easy, it IS going against the grain of what society tells us. But talk to our grandparents, who lived through the depression. What would they say about all of this, living on borrowed money? What if something like the depression would happen again? Are we ready for it IF it happens? If you think it is so wrong to have an older vehicle, and to make repairs instead of living with a large car payment- go for it. But God bless those who want to make other things in life a priority!

God bless you and thank you for this blog!!!

[Courtney]

If it isn't obvious, I think a lot of people DO understand why you are not buying another car. Ya know, it's always amazed me how many things people "throw out" just because it's broken. They don't understand most cars can be fixed for way less than buying a new or used vehicle. We live in a ultimately spoiled society that thinks "If it's broken DON'T go fix it, and just buy a new one instead". I don't know about you but I know we've spent many years and huge chucks of money out of our paychecks to pay off our van. I'm not about to spend another 5 or more years spending over $300 a month for another van when ours just needs TLC. Sure a $1,000 - $5,000 bill looks overwhelming and you think you could use that for a downpayment and drive something brand new. But then you'd still be stuck making huge payments every single month for YEARS (maknig the "bill" WAY more that what it originally looked like). I think it is wise to wait until you've actually saved the extra money to treat yourself to a new/used vehicle and pay cash. Not to mention, a lot of places will knock off a LOT of money anytime you have cash to pay for big purchases like that.

Really though, I think you're doing the right thing by just fixing the vehicle you've already spent so much time paying off than going out and doing it all over again, knowing the new vehicle would do the same thing in a few years. lol It IS possible to live completely debt free. A lot of people don't understand that. It's easier to do than winning the lottery.

By the way, did you know you could take the money you'd spend on one month's car payment and go on a cruise instead? If that's not inspiration, I don't know what is!

[Sheila]

Crystal, You go girl! As an older woman with a daughter your age (who put me onto your site) I am so proud of you! At this stage in my life, my husband and I no longer NEED to pinch pennies; however it is now my CHOICE to be frugal because I see our money as belonging to God. I know I need to be the best steward I can be with His resources. We live very simply allowing us to give freely and I LOVE IT! God is blessing others through you. Keep it up.

[Ladybugs' Mom]

You're my hero!

[Megan]

Wow, I felt so bad after reading this post. I come to your blog every day and mooch :) all of your good advice. I actually depend on your blog for so many of the ways I save money. I send friend after friend here when they want to know how I bargain shop. I can't believe someone would post something so hurtful and rude. It made me feel bad for never leaving a "thank you" comment before. I should at least take the time to do that. I hope that the rude comments won't discourage you as I am SOOO appreciative of what you do.

[My Thrifty Victorian Home]

Kudos to you. You are totally in the right! Why do people think the economy is the way it is??? We, as a nation, have lost the art of saving for a rainy day. I am in the same boat as you, somewhat. We are a one income family, but my husband as a very decent job as an engineer with great benefits. BUT we did just buy our first home (something we made sure we could afford) and STILL plan on saving! Keep up your WONDERFUL frugal attitude.

Libby

[Jennifer]

We are the same way. We actuallly had the same types of car problems last year, spending a total of $10K on car repairs in a 10 month period. Anyway, I will frequently lament about how we don't have any money. this is not accurate and I need to change the way I think. We have plenty of money (not rich at all though), but everything we have is already alloted to other expenses, needs or wants. if push came to shove maybe we could rearrange things a bit, but that isn't what we ever want to do.

The difference between you and that commenter? You have a plan for your money and think carefully before spending it. the commenter obviously takes the easy way out and doesn't plan so carefully. Way to go Crystal, you are doing the right thing.

[Sara]

Hi There,

I'm new here and am enjoying the ideas and more importantly the moral support. My husband and I've made a point to live without credit card debt and currently have no car debt too, although we only have one car. We're starting to be serious about staying in a budget and not giving our money with a name assigned to it to another account. Sharing a single car is taking some sacrifice, but I decided I'd rather stay home with my 12 month old than have strangers raise him, since we don't live in a town with our family. Keep the good ideas coming and best of luck to you.
-Sara
www.dixiegypsy.com

[Kelly]

Right on Crystal! Don't let the jealous and probably broke people get to you. Why are they on your site anyway?

[Kristine]

So for those of you "living like nobody else" - do you have a point at which you'll stop putting repairs into a vehicle and purchase a new one even if the vehicle fund isn't where you want it to be?

I recently replaced my vehicle. It had 150k miles on it, it was totally paid for, but we were looking at approximately $4000 worth of immediate repairs for a vehicle worth about $3000 in as-is conditions. And we would also need new brakes and tires before the end of summer, so another $1k or so at that time. We hit our break point. It was silly for us to keep pumping cash into a car that wasn't worth it. We reallocated our funds to buy a new to us car, with remaining warranty on it.

How do the rest of you justify repairing a car that might not be worth it? Or do you not consider the worth of the vehicle when doing repairs? Do you just consider the size of your repair fund and the size of the new vehicle fund instead?
*****************
Money Saving Mom here: You got it, Kristine. It really depends upon the situation. We usually consider the worth of the vehicle, the costs involved in repairing it, the size of the repair fund, and the costs of a new vehicle.

We had just bought this van last year and were hoping it would last us at least a good four years until it needed to be replaced. We've not spent anywhere close to what we'd spend to get a good replacement for it and everything we've put into it will hopefully allow us to be able to get more life out of it and then sell it for more in the next year or two. So we're looking at it as an "investment" of sorts.

Hope that helps! For us, it really depends upon the situation; I don't think there are any hard and fast rules, just that you shouldn't ever get a loan for a vehicle and should really think through what you truly need and what you can afford and what your long-term goals are.

[Melissa]

The last sentence that you wrote...those are the exact words that my husband has been saying the last few years! Right on sister!

[Liz]

I can sympathize on the car front - we had both our older cars die in the same week last December. We had a great time driving around a series of ghastly beaters until then. We used to get the funniest looks and laugh hysterically over them!

But you also have to remember that people have different priorities for their money. We skimp on cars so our daughter can go to camp, theater productions, and museums. We may drive $1000 rust buckets, but we paid for our daughter's entire class to go see the symphony. We buy used clothes so we can go out for sometimes for authentic Thai, Indian, and Chinese foods we can't replicate well at home. It is all about priorities and trade-offs and people just don't see eye-to-eye on those because different things are important to them.

[Peggy]

You are still waaaayyyy better off just getting it fixed - way less money and you still have a working vehicle. The person who said that is probably just jealous b/c they are miserable and saddled with a huge monthly payment for their new car - and guess what - they break down too!!!! You go Crystal!!! I'm with ya!

[Shegazelle]

People like you are rock stars in my book. I wanna be just like you!

[Michele]

Hi Crystal,
This comment hits home for me! My husband and I graduated college and were blessed to get very good jobs. Even though we had great incomes for nearly 5 years, we chose to stay in the small family home that we owe very little on. Our colleagues and college friends would hassle us that we did not live in the fanciest suburb (our city is considered very working class and most of our "friends" would look down on us for being here). We have never owned new cars and used our income to pay off our student loans, a used car loan, and 70% of our house debt. We use credit cards each month only for rewards purposes and always pay them off each month. Now, people are shocked that I am able to stay home with my son (while waiting for my second baby to come), and we are not strapped or having to take out more debt. Part of the reason that we are doing well on our budget is due to all of the tips you share, and I am grateful for them. God's blessings to you!

[Katie MIller in Ohio]

We get this also because of my husband's job. "Why are YOU on a budget?" "What do you mean you can't go __________?" and even "If you didn't do __________ for the boys, you'd have money for yourself". We hear this all the time.

Anymore, I just tune it out. Although when there are days when I can get into a pity party mode when "everybody else gets to pay retail" happens.

Ah well, my husband is smart, certifiably smart. I trust his judgement. We'd rather sacrifice fancy wardrobes and cars so our children can get swim lessons, music, or whatever... with a MOM who stays HOME. It means we don't go out to eat often, although I'd love to LOL. We don't shop retail.

Our neighbors have "everything"... including piles and piles of debt. Guess where all the kiddos on the property want to play?? At our house with our second hand toys and blow up pool! Every day! Having everything isn't all it's cracked up to be.

If having a new car is meant for you, your husband will surprise you with a brand new Odyssey or something fun. You just wait...

Katie

[Heather]

Nicely stated. Even positive things (this post) can come out of negative things (the comment @ your car situation). It's strange what inspires us to write on our blog sometimes!

[Beth]

Congratulations on choosing to do what most of American has NOT chosen to do . . . live without DEBT!!

We are big fans of Dave Ramsey and thanks to his advice and our hard work, we are debt free - but it took some work and we got some really weird looks from people.

I'll never forget trying to book a spa appointment in Nashville, TN and the receptionist needed my credit card info. to keep on file (basically to have in case I didn't show so they could charge me). I told her I we didn't have credit cards so I couldn't provide that data for her. She said it was impossible to not have a credit card and that I was lying. "It's impossible to live w/o a credit card," she said. No, it's not . . . I obviously didn't make my appointment at that spa - they wouldn't hold my appointment w/o a credit card. How sad! Keep up the hard work!

JUST THINK what kind of responses/looks you'll get when your home is PAID FOR! Imagine how good it will feel to not have a mortgage/rent payment!

Good luck!

[Rachelle/mamabear]

Good for you!! I know what it's like to get a rude comment. I got one last week for my Quiverfull post. You are doing the right thing, and you are doing what your husband wants you to. I think more women need to get under their husbands and follow them instead of leading!! and more of us need to get out of debt!!! God will bless you for your efforts, pray you get some more miles out of your van!

[Jennifer]

I'm just going to say "Ditto" to all the above comments. Good job!

[Jennifer]

Good for you! It takes a lot to keep saving and not go out and buy something just because it would be more convenient! You are a great role model!!!

[polly]

You did an excellent, gracious job of 'responding' to the rude comment. I always think it's kind of funny how people assume attorneys rake in the $$. I am one, although I've worked part time for several years and am now going to put the law work on hold for several more. We are "strange" b/c my husband drives a 1991 car w/ 350,000 miles {volvo} and I drive a 2000 vehicle w/ 200,000. no debt, mortgage almost paid.

it's a good feeling--strategically saving!

[Jolene S.]

You Go Girl! So sorry about the offensive comment. I just got on the "budget and coupon bandwagon" a few weeks ago. I didn't think I had the time or patience, BUT I want to handle our money the way The Father intended. I want to make my husband proud in knowing that I am not squandering our money, while he works his bootie off day every day! AND I did not realize this alternate world my family and I could be living in. I have already seen the FREEING benefits of living a purpose driven, debt-free and frugal life. Thanks for providing support and encouragement! I can't wait to see what lies around the next corner!

[Beckie]

You go girl! I am giving you props. You will live like nobody else someday for sure. It is worth it you keep pressing on. These are little sacrifices that are laughable later.

[Sheila Smith]

You are just plain WEIRD...but in a good Dave Ramsey kind of way. :)

[Allison]

You are my role model! I aim to live debt free. I have learned so much in the short months reading your blog. Keep up the good work.

[Marianne]

In our culture, striving to be debt-free is like running the wrong way in a marathon...it always feels like someone's trying to push you down.

As always, you blog here with grace and joy despite the negative comments. Thanks for sharing from the heart.

[Susannah]

I agree with you on the car situation. We've been having car issues of our own and have gotten comments about just going out and buying another car. But like you, we don't have the money to buy a car at the moment, but we do have money for repairs. So we fix it.

My husband is also a lawyer and I have to say that it is a HUGE misconception that all attorneys make a boatload of money. It just isn't true. However everyone thinks that because of my husband's profession, we should have a ton of money to do whatever we want to.

I really enjoy your blog. Thank you!

[craftylildevil]

You are doing a fantastic job and don't let rude comments get to you. Thank you so much for everything you do on this site. I know it takes a lot of time and energy and effort and I for one am very appreciative.
Thank you!

[Sarah]

AMEN!!

We too have chosen to live like no one else so that later we can live like no one else AND give like no one else.

We are in the process of buying a fixer-upper house and we are going to do all the repairs and painting in cash. Sure, people think we are crazy to deal with that neon green someone put in one room but we would rather deal with it until we can paint it our own color using no credit. It will be a long process but it will be OURS...not a credit card companies. We are living like no one else.

I remember hearing Dave Ramsey say that if you friends think you are crazy, you are probably doing the right thing. So, there you go.

Keep Going!

[Raquel]

bravo what a great post, thank you for all the hard work on this blog becasue of it i have learned how to save my family lots of money!

[Tiffany]

We are a one-car family, and have had MANY people think we're strange for not running out and "just buying" a second one. But like you, we don't have the money set aside yet; we aren't financially there yet; we don't want to go in big debt for it. It's hard...we live in a very small rural area with nothing really in walking distance.....so I'm housebound all day everyday during the week. But I know we're doing the right thing by waiting....thank you for standing up for us weirdos!