Ask the Readers: Celebrating Christmas in a meaningful way?

photo by krisdecurtis

Christmas is coming and I have a large family, some of whom have a lot of "disposable" income and others who are really squeaking by this year. I have spent several of the last Christmas seasons in tears of sadness and frustration. Sometimes I feel like I can't get the people on my list a "good enough" gift and sometimes there is not enough money to get a gift for everyone.

I'd really like to do things differently this year and I'd like to actually make Christmas about Jesus and not about shopping. So, how can I get everyone in the spirit? How can we celebrate in a meaningful way? How do I give gifts from the heart and not from the wallet, and what do other families do to get through Christmas without crying? -Alisa

I am guessing Alisa is not alone in her struggles; likely many of you have experienced something similar. So, how have you dealt with it? What ideas or suggestions do you have for Alisa?

Comments

[Catherine]

Here are a few ideas:

Hand-made gifts -- some people may curl their noses, but folk traditions go a long way, especially when connected with your family's heritage.

Alternative giving -- a card specifying a donation in the name of a person or family to a non-profit organization. Heifer.org has been in the business of alternative giving for a very long time. You can provide information about how the gift will be used to make a difference in the world. Some organizations even have special cards you can print out in colored-ink.

Also, www.simpleliving.net has some great resources called "Whose Birthday Is It Anyway?" that might be right up your alley.

[Kathy F.]

My husband and I sent out a letter to our family members explaining why we were "bowing out" of the gift-giving for Christmas. We did this 4 years ago, and we still do not exchange gifts. Our family members were confused by our decision, but eventually realized that we just were NOT going to participate in gift-giving, and that they were not to give us any gifts. Once they knew we were firm in our resolve (and the reasons why), there were no hard feelings or any more problems. Let me say, it has made the holiday season a great joy, instead of a great burden. We now relax and enjoy our relationships with our family without the angst of wondering if our gift was 'good enough'. Really, gift giving is way, way, way over-rated.

[redheadharper]

My suggestion is to make it personal. When you put thought and love into any gift, the receiver knows it.
Try using scripture for inspiration to make personal note cards, IOU coupons or as tags on editable goods. Or use a religious story that means something to you to make theme gifts such Noah's Ark and two matching handmade gifts. The gift of family, friendship and time together is what is most important.

[Sara]

You could buy everyone a copy of the movie "What Would Jesus Buy?" and call it good.

[Nicole@frugalisfab]

A couple of years ago, my siblings and I all decided to stop giving each other gifts and take the money that we would have spent and spend it on people who could use it more than us. We put all of the money together and adopt a family in need and then we buy presents for them (hopefully on Black Friday, so we can stretch our dollars further). We wrap the presents and then leave them on the porch with a note from Santa. It is such a more rewarding and meaningful experience. Instead of stressing about trying to find the perfect gift for people who already have everything that they need, we have so much fun and find so much joy in buying things for families in need.

It is a truly rewarding experience for everyone involved!

[Holly]

Last year I made Christmas presents. I wanted to have something special. I made scripture boards. (I am not a crafty person, but this was fairly easy.)

I went to Lowe's bought pre-cut boards and painted them light beige. I typed scripture on the computer and printed it out on legal size paper. I used carbon copy paper in between the printout and board and then traced the outline of the font. I used black craft paint to "hand-paint" the board. Then sprayed a clear coat. My hubby then put hangers in the back.

Eveyone loved them and I did Christmas for about $75. For everyone! I felt such peace that I had "done enough" and that the gift was eternal. After all I was sowing a seed with the Word.

[Jodi]

I am doing several homemade things this year. I am making dish towels with a Christmas theme on them. I am also making personal handsoap. I got the idea of Pattiwack from News on 6. You copy on regular paper a pic of whatever (my daughter), glue the pic onto a regualr bar of soap (scrapping the "Ivory" word off), using tongs; dip the soap 1/4 inch into a pan of melted pariffin wax and let dry. Super cute and super cheap. Also dry ingredient mixes of cookie and cocoa mixes in jars are good. Other than that just think of things that are most useful. I don't like to give gifts that are just wants; I look at needs too and use that as a more useful guide. Hope that helps. :)

[Davonne]

I hate the commercialism of Christmas!

Some suggestions:

1) Simplify the list. All friends, teachers, cousins, etc, do not need a gift!

2) Nicely talk to people you're cutting from your list in advance.

3) Have picture cards made to send to all of the people as a nice gesture, or host a potluck party for everyone you'd love to buy for but can't.

4) Draw names - at Thanksgiving my brothers and I, and our spouses, each draw one name from a hat. If we pick ourselves, or our spouse we put it back and draw again. We choose to have a list of who's buying for who, so when the buyer forgets, they can contact the person with the list for a reminder. We also set a price limit.

5) Let others know your budget. We have a small budget for people, and we tell them what our budget is. Then if they choose to buy us something more expensive than what we bought them, we refuse to feel bad because they knew our budget in advance. When telling others our budget, we ask them if there are any items they'd like in our price range. This takes the guess work out of it for us, and ensures they will get a gift that doesn't need returned.

6) Shop online. Amazon.com has AMAZING deals, and you can often get free shipping. I've found that online shopping is much cheaper, faster, and more convenient than going to the malls.

6) Unless you really know what you're doing, beware of homemade gifts. These can be extremely time consuming, and I've found that the money I spend in supplies usually doesn't save much, if any, money.

[Stephanie Shaw]

My extended family (my mom's side) has already decided that instead of purchasing gifts or even gift cards this year, we are going to give the gift of our "presence" by meeting up at my grandparent's home at the beginning of January! We are going to sit around and talk and eat, something we haven't done as a large group in a long time, since we are so scattered across the country. It is a great alternative to spending money we don't have on things we don't even know the others will enjoy.

[Beth/Mom2TwoVikings]

As someone who has spent the last two C-mases having to show up empty-handed at large family gatherings yet leaving laden with toys and clothes for the Vikings, I know how you feel.

I have many other thoughts and/or impressions but don't have time right this minute to share.

The quickest first instinct response: everyone gets the same homemade gift. For example, all the grandparents get homemade calendars with your kids' pics on it. Or, all the ladies in your family get homemade oven mitts. Or, all the guys get a gift basket of cookies. Everyone gets a fleece tie blanket. Everyone gets a coupon book of "free" things/chores you can do later. Something like that.

[Danielle]

It's impossible to please everyone. Simple homemade gifts show you put time and love into your presents. Try giving a family gift (instead of individual ones) of homemade cookies, bread, or canned goods, add a homemade oranment and you've given a wonderful gift that you can feel good about. You can check out my blog for cheap "stocking stuffer" ideas.

[lisa]

Last year our extended family drew names (which we do every year) and MADE gifts for the ones we drew. It was really amazing to see everyone's thoughtfulness and talents when we opened the gifts together. The time spent making them was valuable enough.

[angela carrillo]

I became a stay at home mom a year and a half a go but for the last three years our Christmas budget has been so tight. For Christmas I started giving my Aunts, Cousins that had their own little families, close friends and my husband's close friends at work "Christmas Baskets". I love to bake so I would bake up inexpensive items in bulk and put them in Christmas gift boxes. This year I am really doing it up because I have been shopping lately at the local Goodwill's and noticed they have started putting Christmas Tins out and I have been buying those up. I have a collection going and now this year can put up the baked goods into tins and really dress them up for little to nothing. I have also started putting together all my cookie recipes, making the batches and started freezing them. I do this because I too ended up crying and being depressed at feeling like it was not a good enough gift. But now EVERYONE looks forward to the baskets!! This year for my friends with little ones I am doing gable boxes that I found at the Goodwill with a dozen tea cookies that are SUPER simple to make and then adding in some disposable piping bags filled with royal icing in red and green colors. That way they may sit with their families on Christmas Eve and decorate their own cookies for Santa! If you would like the recipe just shoot me an email and I would love to send it to you. I love it!! Thanks for the opportunity to share my story!

~Angela Carrillo
PROUD stay at home momma to a 10yr old and a 19mo old!!

[Shellie]

I know Christmas is very hard for many families. You just have to trust that since they are family that they will love you and not your gift. If they are more concerned about material things than the spirit of the season, then you should bend over backward praying for them and not bend over backward trying to please them.

My mom has a stepsister who has everything and things on her list are either too expensive for us to give or she turns her nose up at them. She doesn't even says thank you. Many years ago my mom started to donate her time to a charity. The charity made up a certificate saying 40 hours of service were dedicated in Stepsister's name by my mom's name. Now they are in a different place and my mom makes a donation but the certificate recieved never says the amount. She picks a charity for a cause that impacts her stepsister. This year is American Cancer Society because her father was recently diagnosed.

There are few people who can turn there nose up at someone giving time or $$ to a charity in their honor. You can even get your kids involved doing that for their aunts and uncles.

Another idea: My husband's family is also quite large and the adults alternate each year by doing an ornament exchange and a baked goods exchange for one another. He has 3 aunts and 5 uncles. One year 4 (and their spouses) give an ornament to each family and the other 4 give a plate of goodies to each family. Then the next year they switch. But they all give gifts to the kids. I think the limit is $25/kid but that could still add up if you have tons of kids. But you could vary it depending on the situation in your family: you could set a $10 limit or everyone gives the kids a book or DVD.

[Brittany]

My husband's family is large (1 grandparent, 2 parents, 5 kids, 3 spouses, 3 grandkids, and an "adopted aunt"). We do a drawing early in the fall so that each adult buys for only one other adult and we set a limit of $35. Everyone can buy for the grandkids, but even with that the "Christmas bill" is so much smaller than it would be if we were to buy for everyone. Plus when you only have one person on your list, you're able to put more thought into what that person would really want and wouldn't buy for themselves.

[Clare]

I have a very large family / extended family and it would be insanely outrageous to try to get gifts for everyone. We've agreed to all get gifts for the children but when it comes to the grown ups we each pick a name out of a hat so that each person only has one grown up to shop for. We spend about $100 on the person we get (of course we feel free to spend more if we like) - It's worked so well that we've done it for 9 years now. We have fun opening our gifts but honestly it's more about the time we spend together and less about the gifts we get.

[Katie]

Why not suggest everyone contributes money (if they can...no one has to know every family member's amount) and give to a needy family. My family collects the money, gets a money-order and sends it to a family they know are in need. The needy family doesn't know who the money order is from but they at least get to celebrate Christmas a little better than they would have if they didn't get the money order. It takes the stress out of buying gifts and allows everyone to reflect on the real reason for the season!

One of my friends and her boyfriend celebrated Christmas by going to a soup kitchen and working too.

[rae]

Maybe you could suggest to your family to do some sort of secret santa type thing. Put everybody's name in a hat and everybody picks somebody else. You could do it for one gift. Or you could put everybody's name in twice and you would buy and also receive 2 gifts. It keeps the costs down but everybody still gets something. Then you guys can give homemade cards/cookies/etc to the rest of the family members if you choose as long as it's small and homemade. It would leave more time to enjoy the season and spend time focusing on what matters.

[Leisa]

I'd love some ideas on this too!
Last year, we asked our family members to draw names and purchase a gift under $50 for the person whose name you drew. Everyone agreed - and then Christmas morning came and we were the only ones who didn't have gifts for everyone. We certainly felt like the poor, cheapskate relatives and it was very humiliating!
This year our budget is just as tight, if not tighter. I Googled "Frugal gifts" and saw lots and lots of great ideas, many of which I am adopting!
For exampble, my teenage niece is getting a "Death by Chocolate" gift basket - with homemade Chocolate Chocolate Chip cookie dough and a cookie scoop so she can make cookies whenever she wants, along with a jar of homemade hot cocoa mix.
My sister-in-law and her fiance are getting a Home Cooking basket - with the ingredients and a recipe card for my favorite Chicken Tortilla Soup, along with 2 soup mugs & spoons from the dollar store.
Another family member is getting a gift basket with the recipe & ingredients for homemade caramel popcorn.
(Once I thought of a theme to fit their personalities, I ran with it!)
Everyone is getting homemade refrigerator magnets with pictures of my boys on them.
I'm hoping it will all be well received. And if not, too bad! I don't have the money and no longer have the interest in trying to beat the Joneses every holiday.

[Michelle]

One thing that we have done on both sides of the family is draw names. This year I drew my younger brother's name, so I will buy gifts for his family of 5. The catch is that no one is allowed to spend over $50.00 total. This just gets my creative juices flowing to see how much I can get for a family of 5 for $50.00. It takes the pressure off knowing that you will only buy gifts for one family and you can focus on that.

Another thing I did last year was give coupons for service to each of my family members for things I think they would enjoy - a home cooked meal for my newlywed sister, babysitting for my brother, etc. These went over very well and everyone was appreciative.

Last but not least, one thing that we did at a church activity was a gift exchange, but with services. This could translate to a family setting as well. Each person put a service they were willing to provide on a 3X5 card, some examples were a dessert, babysitting, a hair stylist offerred a haircut, a photographer offerred a session, bringing dinner over, helping to organize a closet/pantry, etc. All the cards were placed in a basket and the game played out like a white elephant gift exchange with stealing and everything. It was a lot of fun - and fun to do the service (and receive a service) afterward.

[Rapunzel's Thrifty Mom]

Last year we made our own hot chocolate mix to give along with cookies we baked to families and friends. Three years ago I would have been horrified to spend less than $20 on ANYONE. Now, I do my shopping throughout the year. JUST after Christmas is an EXCELLENT time to purchase gifts for the following year. That doesn't help so much now but you can easily go to a thrift store and purchase some used frames and make your own collage of extra pictures you may have or put in a picture that your child made. Better yet, have them draw a special holiday picture just for the recipient and frame it. There are tons of frugal resources on the web. I have no doubt Crystal has a bunch. We also have made books for grandparents that describe why our DD has fun with them, etc and incude a picture or two of them together. Once you get past the price tag or your gift you can have a lot of fun with the gift giving.

[Mary]

My immediate family decided quite a few years ago to stop the gift giving and instead just gather sometime between Christmas and New Years for dinner. Some years it's Pizza Hut, sometimes one of us will cook a meal, but it's mainly just a chance for us all to get together, talk, laugh about funny things throughout the year...the youngest grandchild is now 15 so we don't even get the "kids" gifts any longer - they get enough stuff over the holidays.

Last year, my brother surprised us all by creating a DVD for each of us of our old home movies and we sat and watched that - and we all had a good laugh!

I have to say, I look forward to that gathering more than any other each year! There's no pressure to give and spend more than you should.

[Brandy]

I have a book that would be helpful. It is called Unplug the Christmas Machine. It had a lot of very practical ideas for how to deal with family that is not "on the same page". Take a look and see if you think it would be helpful for you.

[Joanna]

I would recommend picking names for adults in the family. With an extended family of 11 adults, I think we are going to try that this year. With the nieces and nephews we'll give them gifts. You can always save more personal gifts you want to give to the other adults you didn't pick for birthdays/mother's day/father's day etc gift. I would also recommend shopping the earlier the better so that you can truly enjoy the Christmas season and not get caught up in the typical "holiday rush"

[Carmen]

Not many in our extended families know the Lord so as for getting them to focus on the real meaning, well it's a hard task. So I'll stick to the gift part of the question...
We have seven children so it's hard to buy gifts for everyone. So every year we give a homemade gift. This year it's jam and biscuit mix, last year it was hot cocoa mix (money was really tight last year!), the year before it was spicy veggie dip mix. You can find all sorts of inexpensive gifts to make and give. Everyone in our family helps make the gifts. It's fun, inexpensive, and from the heart.

Hope that helps!

Hugs,
Carmen

[Debbie]

A few years back we came up with a solution to this problem. We have the traditional grab bag, but we also have added a slight twist.

A few years back we decided to start buying stocking stuffers for everyone. The stocking stuffer should be about $5.00 (those with more money usually spend more, but those with less money can stick to the $5 rule and not feel bad about it).

I purchased those inexpensive felt stockings at Michael's for everyone and got some puffy paints. Each stocking is unique and very cute. This has honestly become the part of the day that everyone looks most forward to. It's fun as each person comes into the house and puts all of his items in and around each persons stocking. We take turns going around and opening one gift at a time. Some of us really take a lot of time to get the perfect $5-$10 gift - it takes a lot more thought, trust me.

This year since I am very new to saving money and couponing I have decided to show everyone just how far $5 can go. I am making each one of the adult family members a basket with items that total no more than $5 (using coupons, rebates, RR, ECBs, etc.). With all my coupons and freebies these baskets are already overflowing and so far I've spent like $2.50 on each one (and I'm not even taking into account overages!!) They've got stuff like toothpaste, toothbrushes, shampoo, floss, mouthwash, dishwasher and dish liquid, Scrubbing Bubbles, deoderant, lotions, make-up, cough syrup, etc. The list goes on and on and I've still got almost three more months to add to the baskets. It's actually getting a little silly, but it's fun. I'm amazed at how much free stuff there is out there.

A great, inexpensive gift could be a photo album. With a scanner and printer (or even sending them to a site) you can make a great little book. You can even get old photos of past generations and do something like that.

[Krystyn]

Anything homemade or from the heart. I've seen recipes for soap/bath balls....art projects from the kids, or pictures.

As far as getting into the spirit. Talk about the reason for the season. Jesus' birth. That should get everybody excited.

[Dawn]

Hi Alisa,
I found your blog through a friend.
I have a large extended family too and went through this frustration for several years. Finally, one year I convinced everyone to draw names. We kept Grandma and Grandpa out of the draw so that everyone could give to them as they wanted. Then everyone else, brothers, sisters, in-laws, and children, only got drawn once. Everyone got a gift but we only had to buy as many gifts as we have members of our immediate family. That eased up the budget demands considerably and I was able to buy something nicer and not feel the burn of having to shop for so many people.
On years that the family won't agree to this, I do as many handmade gifts as possible. My children paint pictures that I frame. I make homemade playdough or dolls for my nieces and nephews. I give a lot of baked goods and write heart-felt letters, letting my family members know how much I love them and would give out bars of gold if I could, but only have the money to give out bars of goodies. I try to make the gifts as sentimental as possible, hoping that my love will shine through. As I make the gift, I pray for the receiver too and ask the Lord to prepare me to give the gift cheerfully even if it isn't as "good' as the receiver had hoped for.
Hope that helps some.
Dawn

[Patricia]

We do a number of things already mentioned. We adopt a family as well. Our kids are involved in every bit of the process. I want them to understand how fortunate we all are. We use money from our Xmas budget to do this.

Also, for gifts we've been taking the kids to the portrait studio (Kiddie Kandids often has great deals) and getting their pics done. I buy frames at Marshals, Target, or wherever I can find them and send framed pics to all the grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc.. You can also buy craft supplies to embelish your own frames.

[Michelle]

When my children were small, Santa left 3 gifts. I talked to my children about Jesus receiving 3 gifts from the wise men. This was an easy way to limit the gifts and give meaning to Christmas.

I also try and shop throughout the year for bargains to use as gifts. I also have pared down my list and worked hard to keep it simple!

[Lori]

I love these ideas! One year I made ornaments out of high quality copies of heirloom family photos. There is a great article on how to do it here: http://www.southernliving.com/southern/homes/ideas/article/0,28012,357881_557815,00.html

As far as ideas for making the season more Christ-centered, I love this book: REDEEMING THE SEASON by Kim Wier. It's PACKED full of great ideas for the family. You can buy a used copy on amazon.com starting at $1.35!

[Christy]

Definitely go homemeade and cheap if you feel you just HAVE to give. One of the best gifts i have ever received and still have is a wreath my mom made for me from Dollar tree flowers.

Consider talking with your family. We have, on several occassions, told the kids that we would let them pick out one item and set a limit ( nothing HUGE). We then explained to them about children who do not have anything or have the basic needs. We all decided we would pick a kid from the tree at Walmart and buy that kid a gift.

One year we even decided to forgo our holiday and we all (kids and all) packed up in the van and worked the local shelter for the holidays!

[kim]

Since I've had kids we always give the grandparents and there are many a picture of the kids in a frame. I usually find a great deal on frames around Christmas time at Walgreens and print the pictures through Shutterfly.

[Barb]

My suggestion for a frugal, yet meaningful Christmas is walmart.com. You can upload all of your photos on there. They have many really neat gift ideas. One that I love is the picture calender. I have made and received picture calenders. I have one right now. It was a gift from family. You can put all birthdays, anniversary's, any special days you want. You can put photos on the days and on the months. It is so cute. They are around 11.00! You can also print stationary with pics of kids, maybe for grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. They are about 4 dollars! Worth checking out!

[Erica M]

Hubby's family's tradition is to have each person fill a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child or Samaritan's Purse. The kids like helping pick things out for "their" box! Even if you have 5 people in your family and have to do five boxes, you'll end up spending much less than if you'd bought each extended family member a gift! Doing it together, maybe even gathering up some cousins to go shopping with you, makes it fun. Sometimes making it about helping someone else is just what we need to get back in focus!

If not everyone wants to go that route, just explain that your family is taking a year off gift-giving and will be giving to children in need. I haven't met a single person who thought I was weird for doing this!

You could still do a small Christmas celebration at home for your family, or even a potluck dinner for everyone!

[Heidi]

Whatever you decide to do, talk about it with your family ahead of time. Some families are happy not giving gifts, and for others, it is a meaningful part of the spirit of giving. Plus, maybe other family members will have ideas you haven't thought of.

[Sarah]

Not every recipient would love this, but I have given subscriptions to magazines for inexpensive Christmas gifts. You can usually find them for about $12 or less (sometimes free). And with all the different magazines out there, you can find one to fit a person's interest. You can just give a card or something at Christmas telling the person what you did.
Something that I do a lot for kids is make them a gift bag full of art supplies. You can do this for $5-10 or less. Pads of plain paper, colored pencils, markers, watercolor paints, stickers, packs of googly eyes and puff balls, glitter, chalk, tissue paper, stencils, ribbon, etc. are great. This is something you can stock up on in the fall when all this stuff is on sale, and put it away until Christmas or until you get invited to a b-day party or something.

[Emma]

My husband told me about this great list of ideas yesterday; I hope it helps!
http://www.simplesavings.com.au/downloads/ (under Tip Sheets, click on handmade gifts to download the pdf)
Aside from gifts, last year I bought a small Christmas devotional book that we keep on the dining table throughout December and read together at mealtimes. This really helped me stay focused on what we are really celebrating. (http://www.amazon.com/Why-Nativity-David-Jeremiah/dp/141431504X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1222990966&sr=8-1)

[Jenna]

My husband also comes from a large extended family. They are in large part non-believers. This is what we have done to keep the spirit up and the cost way down - and still have a blast doing it! Every year on the Saturday before Christmas, my mother in law hosts a party for all of us at her house. We all buy gifts for all of the children and spend about $10 each. If you shop sales you should be able to get a great little something for not much money at all. Then, the adults all partake in a grab bag. This eliminates the hassle of drawing names and keeping track of who has whom. It also frees you up to just purchase or make something you think is nice, not try and please one person in particular. We play the traditional "white elephant" rules. The game is so much more fun than the gift you end up with. The men bring a gift for a man, and the women bring a gift for the women. This being an especially tight year, I plan on bringing a homemade food basket for the men (some of whom are single) and making a Lady's goodie basket full of things I have gotten free at CVS and Walgreens this year (chocolate, nailpolish, razors, etc.) This works because I only have to make 2, not 18!!

[Krissy]

We also have a large family, with lots of children. The thing we started a couple of years ago was to have the kids draw names. The ages range from 18-3. We put a $25 limit on the kids gifts. This eliminates all the "junky" dollar store gifts, and gives them one "good" gift.

The adults play dirty santa. Everyone brings a $25 gift that they would like. Last year I took a gift certificate for a manicure/pedicure and my hubby took pair of leather gloves. Everyone draws numbers and you choose a wrapped gift in order of number. If the person before you opens a gift you want, you can steal it. After 3 steals, it is frozen. Whoever has number 1 can choose any gift at the end of the game that isn't frozen. This is so much fun and you get to choose your gift!
Both of these things has eliminated anyone feeling like they didn't do enough. For our family of four we spend about $100-no more. Sometimes I spend even less with sales and coupons.
I really like the stocking stuffer idea from OP. That would be a great place to take my CVS finds.

[Christina]

I don't have a great idea... but I DO want to say that Alisa DEFINITELY isn't alone in her struggles. I find that my husband and myself feel this way every year with his side of the family... we're on the 'less fortunate' end of things.. though, what that REALLY means, is that we're the only ones who don't max out our credit cards over gifts every year.

It's really, really hard to sit and watch the family open pricey gift after pricey gift... only to hand them a specially made gift basket full of homemade cookies, dried herbs from the garden, or other nice, INEXPENSIVE things. It just never feels... good enough.

So, needless to say, I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing what everyone has to say!

[Lisa]

Our family has lots of fun having a "rob your neighbor" gift exchange: We all decide on a price limit (15.00 for us), and anyone who wants to participate brings a wrapped gift with no name tag. We have fun wrapping the gifts in amusing ways, too.
We draw a card to determine the order. The person with the ace unwraps any gift from the pile and then shows it to everyone. The next highest card, can either "steal" an already opened gift or choose a wrapped gift from the pile. If the person chooses to steal, the person whose gift is stolen now repeats their turn and either steals another person's gift or unwraps a new gift. This continues until there are not more gifts in the pile.
We have lots of fun!

[Aryn]

Each adult provides one gift at a value of about $35 (if they choose to participate. Some couples do one gift together rather than two gifts.) Each participant then chooses one gift from the pile. Then we do another round of stealing unwrapped gifts from each other. Then we open them.

Last year, I went to Michael's a couple weeks before Xmas and bought a basket, candles, and a couple ornaments all on sale. I assembled it as a gift basket that looked much more expensive that it actually was.

Kids under 18 still receive gifts from everyone, but several us have started to pool our money to buy a better gift for the same amount. So, we each contribute $10 for each kid, then each kid gets a gift worth $30 rather than 3 gifts worth $10. Everyone is happy.

[Maryanne (MyPennyPile.com)]

Last year we made a donation using World Vision's Gift Catalog. You can donate to buy things like a pair of chickens for a family. Providing eggs for them to sell. Or a water filtration system providing much need pure water.
http://donate.worldvision.org
We then sent out Christmas cards telling everyone what we put our money towards that would have usually gone to gifts.
Then on Christmas Eve we watched a movie as a family and snacked on popcorn and cookies.

[Coupon Geek]

We used to draw names for Christmas. But now, we all do the "Gift Exchange Game." We each try to find the best deal, throughout the year or at Christmastime. We can't spend more than $10-15. Everyone who plays, brings one gift. The kids don't join until they are teenagers. You draw a card and the person with the highest card goes first and picks a present from the pile. People can take it away from you. The game ends when the last person gets their gift. You have to set a rule of how many times the last round could go, though. It's really a lot of fun!

For now, we all buy something small for each kid. But we are talking about drawing names for one kid and getting to spend more on a nicer present.

And the last thing we do is buy/make a birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus! Because that's what it's all about!

[stina]

I would suggest doing charity work. There are always places that have work to be done on christmas eve and christmas day. My family used to work at a Salvation Army until past midnight on Christmas Eve giving away gifts to poor children and mothers. Somehow we still awoke Christmas morning around 6 am. But, we appreciated our gifts much more.

[striving mom]

I have a great idea that is not only a gift, but it makes a difference in the lives of others on the other side of the world! My husband and I have traveled with Allow the Children Ministries, and you can donate to certain projects or buy things like Bibles for others. Check it out at http://www.allowthechildren.org/Sponsor/supportus.asp.

Also, they have a child sponsorship program for $24 a month (and all $24 goes towards your child ... nothing is taken out for administrative costs ... part of the reason we LOVE this ministry!), and you can sponsor a child for a year and give it in the name of someone each month ($24 for your aunt and uncle in January, $24 for your mom in February ... etc.).

There are many projects on the page mentioned earlier, but look under the Nepal and Burundi projects for several things that are a few dollars ($15 for 5 Bibles, $7 for 100 tracts ... etc.).

Here is an opportunity to give a meaningful gift instead of trying to find something that someone may or may not like or even use ... Merry Christmas! :)

[Amanda]

We have been extravagant in our Christmas without even trying. I usually pick up things all year long when I can find them on sale at great deals. Well I haven't kept a great list so we end up with so much. Last year after wrapping what felt like a million presents, I stopped and bagged up the rest and took them to our church for their Christmas ministry for the less fortunate. Well the past few months have been just scraping by and we decided it's too much. Instead of just saying it, we are doing something about it. We are only giving our kids 4 presents a piece and at least 2 will be homemade. I'm going to make them each a little quilt and am getting them something special for the rest. My husband and I have to make each other's gifts. As for the rest of the family we are making homemade gifts for everyone. The girls are going to make ornaments and decorated bags which I can sew. I made my grandmother-in-law a picture quilt a few years ago and am going to give her new pictures to iron on it. Super cheap. For teachers and friends we will be baking up a storm. We are going to use our talents and use the things we already have. We already told our family that is what we are doing and asked that they not buy our children lots fo gifts either.

[MaryEllen]

These ideas would depend on whether or not your family would all agree on them or not, but here they are nonetheless. These are all things my family has either done or has talked about doing.
1. We have drawn names at Thanksgiving. Whoever we draw is who we will buy a Christmas present for. That way we each only have to buy for one person. Either the adults draw an adult, and the kids draw a kid, or the just the adults draw, and we buy presents for all the kids.
2. We have also decided not to do presents at all, but just to spend the money we would have spent on a big family outing (ice skating, going out to eat, etc.)
3. We have talked about something where we don't spend money on presents for each other, but rather use the money to do a family ministry like giving groceries to a family in need.
4. The past couple years we have done a gift exchange where everyone just brings one present, and we play some type of game with them until all the gifts have been exchanged.

[Holly]

One of my best friends is one of 10 kids and her husband is one of 7 kids so they have over 40 nieces and nephews. Each family on her side draws the name of another family. If each person chose another name it would still be expensive, so they do it by family. They then spend about $25 buying something that they could do together as a family. She would buy something like a game and a family devotional book. Crafty people could really come up with some good ideas. You could take advantage of deals throughout the year to put together a great gift basket.